I’ve been a little troubled — a very little as it’s not my country — by some of the sounds I’ve been hearing from down there since your Election Night. The gloating on one side and the wailing and gnashing of teeth and calls for impeachment on the other are unseemly, I think. And there are stories being told. I have a few questions to ask you about . . . The Truth.
1) Would you like the Truth to be that Mitt Romney is a cult-zombie, Mexican-born, corporate capitalist who hates dogs, women and poor people (when he can manage to make up his mind about anything) who tried to steal the election but even screwed that up?
2) Would you like the Truth to be that Barack Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim Black Panther America-hating apology-tour making diplomat-killer who stole the election?
3) Would you like the Truth to be that 9-11 was an inside job of some sort?
4) Would you like the Truth to be that aliens crash landed at Roswell?
5) Would you like the Truth to be that King Arthur really lived and had a Round Table and knights and so on?
If you answered “Yes!” to any of the above questions then I’d like to tell you gently that the Truth very, very likely lies somewhere else. If you want something to be true, you need to examine all apparent evidence in favour of that hypothesis infinitely more carefully than evidence for something in which you have no interest. It’s called “Confirmation Bias”. Confirmation Bias is a Truth. I wish it weren’t, but as much as I would like a different Truth . . . you see where I’m headed.
There’s been a lot of confirmation bias flying around down there. It sometimes seems to be a national pass-time. Do you want that whole Roswell thing to be about aliens and government coverups? If you want that then, you should probably proceed on the assumption it was all a balloon-borne Mylar radar target. That would certainly explain the reports of “tin-foil” that “unfolded itself”. You want King Arthur and his Round Table to be historical? You should probably assume that the stories are all whimsical elaborations on those few brief mentions in Gildas and the Easter Annals. You want Obama to be Kenyan? You should probably assume he’s Hawaiian. You want Romney to be Mexican? Assume he’s from Michigan. And, as much as I’d like to think Dick Cheney took down the Twin Towers with his evil laser vision, I’m going to assume it was a dozen and a half young men, mostly from Saudi Arabia.
It’s a Mylar radar target until the little grey bodies are displayed. There have been a lot of calls for birth certificates to be produced, but it seems to me there haven’t been enough. Where are the calls for the Birthers to produce a Kenyan birth certificate for your President? Where is Mitt Romney’s Mexican birth certificate?
Again, if you want it to be true, it probably isn’t. Calm down, for goodness sake!
P.S. For the record:
1) and 2) I don’t really care much about the truths of Obama and Romney, including their birth places. Their birthplaces shouldn’t matter. Everyone knows my country’s head of state was born in some foreign country. Hell, Her Majesty still lives there!
3) see above about Dick Cheney’s laser vision
4) I think it would be kind of cool if aliens had landed at Roswell. But wariness of Confirmation Bias makes me think they probably didn’t.
5) Yes, I would like it if the Arthurian tales in spite of their inconsistency, were historically accurate. But liking the idea doesn’t make it true, and all the evidence suggests there isn’t much history in Camelot.